Some of us have felt dark clouds over the soul for a long time after committing a great wrong. We feel obligated to make up for the wrong. Sometimes, after we’ve been forgiven, we continue to be stressed or feel awkward around the person we wronged, or we dwell on the wrong.
Forgiveness is not determined by our feelings. When we plainly hear someone telling us we are forgiven, and see the acceptance in his face, we are relieved. It feels like an elephant has been rolled off our back. First we acceptance forgiveness, then the feelings change.
The feelings won’t change if we don’t know or believe we are forgiven. Some people have clearly read that God forgives them if they confess the wrong to him in prayer, but they still feel guilty. They have not accepted the truth of what they’ve read. They think something more needs to happen. They could be right.
Jesus tells us that if we are on the way to worship and remember someone has something against us, we need to make it right with that person (Matthew 5:23-25). So we may confess our wrong to God, but still need to make it up with the person we’ve wronged. (In some cases it will be impossible. For instance, the person may have died, does not want to see us, or can’t be reached.) When we know the obligation has been met, we may find peace again. That means asking forgiveness from the people we’ve wronged, or accepting a fine or the prison time if a law was broken. (Confessing our wrong does not mean we escape its consequences!)
What if the person wronged was God? We need to acknowledge the wrong to God, and accept that he has heard us and forgiven us according to his promise: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We can believe God’s pardon because his Son took the punishment in our place on the cross.
We are told that when something is too good to be true, then it probably is. So we may not feel forgiven after confession because we think we must be punished first – confession was just too easy. Lack of repentance may be the missing factor, so take steps to prevent the problem from reoccurring; be watchful against future expressions of that wrong; know what triggers prompt you, and ask the Lord for special strength and protection in those times.
God is a God of peace. He did not send his Son to die a horrible death on the cross only for us to wander through life feeling guilty. “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1).
What Do You Think?
a. If someone wronged you and you forgave that person from the heart, how would you feel if the person went away sad and stayed that way? Do you think God would feel the same way about you after he has forgiven you and you continue in sadness?
b. In the Old Testament times, the Israelite high priest on the annual Day of Atonement had to go through a ritual of animal sacrifice, which meant that God still remembered their sins (Hebrews 9:7-9). Jesus’ blood is better than the blood of animals and washes away the sin completely. How does the scripture give hope to a guilty conscience when it says, “How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?” (Hebrews 9:14)?
